Step1: Picture everyone in their underwear. If this makes you nauseous, picture them as monkeys.
Step2: When in a serious conversation, keep in mind phrases like "That's what he/she said." and "....between the sheets." and laugh out loud when the urge hits.
Step3: Have meaningful conversations with inanimate objects.
Step4: Narrate your every move out loud.
Step5: Do not hold back those natural responses to stressful situations. Go ahead and scream, growl, cry, howl, cluck...
Step6: Make it a game, the I'm Not Touching The Devil game. How to play: Pick something to avoid, such as walls or cracks in the ground, or door handles, etc. Then avoid touching them at all cost and every time its a close call, scream "I'm not touching the devil!"
Step7: Create your own language and try teaching it to friends, family, coworkers, etc., but as if its the only language you speak.
Step8: Dance to the music in your head, and play the music loudly.
Step9: When someone tries to remind you of your responsibilities, "blah" them.
-Aren't you going to be late for work?
-Blah
-Don't forget to pick up the milk on the way home.
-Blah
-You never listen to me anymore.
-Blah
And Finally,
Step10: Remove all of your clothing, wrap toilet paper around your head and run down the street singing The Beach Boys- Barbara Ann.
These 10 easy steps will lead to your being locked up where you will be given the best reality denying drugs available. Enjoy!
